A successful home, in general terms is a home where God’s original plan is kept: where the husband and the wife are one both in flesh and purpose. More specifically, it’s a home where the husband is not a ruler but a leader, a loving and empathetic husband and father; always putting his wife’s interest before his own. It is where the wife fears the Lord, is not rights-driven but love-driven, and is a great mother to her husband and children. In a nut shell, it is where the husband is present, has a large heart and is duly honored by the wife; where the wife is secure, queenly, and protective of her home; and where father and mother are united and speak with one voice to groom the children to love God and be relevant to society.

On the surface the above definition suggests that a successful home is a myth in modern society. The stories making the rounds also seem to support this notion. For example, recent statistics coming from the United States is very disturbing; a study has found out that divorce is highest in the States among the Evangelical Christians!

Indeed, marriage is having problems worldwide and divorce increasingly getting popular with up to 50% of home in the USA; also, people’s attitude to marriage especially in the West tends to make the institution half a penny. In fact, there are endless forces acting against the marriage institution today that is making the youth find their way around it. For example, cohabitation or live-in lovers is not only acceptable but common in society up to the point of having children without marital commitment. One blow to marriage that popularized this trend is the perceived extra-rights given to women such that they can dismiss their husband at will under any guise and even seem to make more money doing so than when they keep them.

Generally, there is too much of government in the people’s life particularly in the EU such that Biblical home practices have been largely invaded like laws that enforce treating children like eggs to ‘internalize self-esteem’ in them thereby forbidding home discipline. Again, same-sex legislation acceptability in Western nations shows clearly the ‘’demystification’’ of the marriage institution and making nonsense the main importance of the institution as the lowest unit of society where the human race regenerates itself both in number and culture. These trends have eroded the gains of human social development and unwound the hand of the clock of civilization.

Next to too much government is the pattern of modern living that is totally anti-family. The misplaced priority whereby material acquisition overwrites attention to children is a deadly blow to marriage. Both parents must work in most homes either before they can pay the bills or because they can’t pull resources together. Now think of it, couples leave home in the morning when they are their best to work with their opposite sex colleagues but return home fully stressed up to spend time with their loved ones—and when homo sapiens are stressed up they aren’t just nice. The fallout of this is that they often develop soul bonding with an opposite sex at work while their home progressively slides down the hill into a crash. How many homes have been broken because of adultery with colleagues at work!

Meanwhile, ever increasing demographical changes in society particularly due to immigration, seamless information dissemination like the internet and TV have all combined to produce a multicultural society resulting in culture shock and anomy or stealing of other people’s culture with attendant family tensions and breakages. For example, a common source of family failure among the Africans in the Western diasporas is due to many African wives becoming westernized both in thought and conduct thereby wielding rights at home and rejecting the African culture of submission and tolerance when their men are not yet ready.

The last group of forces against homes today is the increase of male infertility, erectile dysfunction, a near total moral decadence, cultureless societal norms, and the religion of evolution masquerading itself as science.

To put it in cogent points; male infertility is unfortunately becoming rampart (1 in 9 men in USA) and is a home breaker among many Africans and Asians who unfortunately see little essence in marriage without children. Again, men may have to choose between obesity and the bed because both don’t seem to be best of friends—apart from medical sources of erectile dysfunction that are beyond my scope here; however erectile dysfunction is among the fastest home breaker.

The legalization of pornography in the Western countries coupled with societal glorification of nudity among women while at the same time expecting every man, cooked and uncooked to be a near perfect human being that is always in control of his libido even in the face of sexual provocation has proven to be farce. Of course, there is no excuse for rape for any man and no excuse for sexual immorality for a Christian; but not all men are men and not all Christians are Christian. Therefore, sexual immorality is the order of the day turning the womb into death chambers of millions of unborn children every year, as well as making marriage a laughing stock and popularizing divorce.

Today, society is cultureless and shameless; Messrs Right and Wrong are dead and buried—killed by Mr. Relative Truth—and they are survived by Messrs Acceptable and Not-acceptable.

Lastly, perhaps the worst ill effect has come to marriage from the wide acceptability of the theory of evolution. It was the communist revolution that enforced atheism describing religion as ‘the opium of the people’. Atheism however, entered the Western world in a subtle and persuasive way appealing to reason like the devil appealed to Eve’s sense of reason thereby deceiving her. Evolution is only a theory yet to be proven but has been classified by protagonists as factual. Its explanations and so-called evidences are more evolutionary than the theory itself. In a nut shell, Evolution has all the makings and trappings of religion and even requires more faith than a belief in God. It has been very effective nonetheless, particularly in removing the fear of a creator God from society. Now applied to marriage, what will restrict a young man or woman from sin more than the fear of God?

With the concomitant interplay of the above enumerated variables, how can we have a strong, joyous and united home? The good news is that millions of homes are still united, healthy and strong. The solution again is thankfully simple and the main problem with marriage today being fundamental.

Now, a lack of understanding of a product leads to its abuse. Surely, the marriage institution is collapsing today partly because people are reacting to some age-long abuse like the subjugation of women at home at times to subservient status. The bigger error is the correction of those abuses that are mere symptoms without treating the real disease that is the misconception of the marriage institution.

Fundamentally, idea of marriage today is vastly different from God’s original plan. Gen. 2: 24 gave us God’s definition of marriage which is to leave one’s parent to cleave with one’s spouse resulting in becoming one flesh together. That instantly takes out the third party, selfishness and disunity from the home.

Secondly, in Gen. 2:18  we have God’s essence for marriage—the woman being a suitable helper to her husband, being intrinsically equal and in no way inferior to her husband, making her husband’s life good and worth living. Ditto for the husband of course. Therefore the essence of marriage is not to take but to contribute. In his book, “Divorce & Remarriage’’, Rev. Emmanuel Baba-Lola wrote: “Most couples go into marriage today with expectations the institution is not designed to supply. Folks go into marriage to receive something, whereas the Lord founded it as a giving institution.

Kindly note that Eve was a suitable helper; a contributor, a provider, and solution to Adam’s problems. Her essence is to give not take. She was a helpmate. The husband has one purpose in the marriage union—to help the wife; and the wife has no different mission to her husband other than to be his constant help.

Marriage therefore, is not about what you want or what you can receive, but all about what you have and can contribute. Marriage is not where to go because you are in need; it is where to go because you can bless somebody.

Marriage will hardly give you what you don’t have. It only multiplies what you bring into it. Folks go into the union to find love, peace, satisfaction, joy, etc but never find it there. The Lord is our source, not marriage.

The principal purpose of marriage therefore is service to your spouse; every other purpose is secondary’’. The only way to have a happy home is to serve.

I must digress to discuss who the Prophet is because of the current dearth of knowledge about the prophetic ministry. In the book of I Chronicles 29:29  we read:

Now the acts of David the king, first and last, behold, they are written in the book of Samuel the seer, and in the book of Nathan the prophet, and in the book of Gad the seer.

Here three different Hebrew words were used to describe the prophet, they are: raah (to see vision; translated seer), choseh (a beholder of vision also translated seer), lastly nabi (an inspired man; consistently translated prophet). However, in the words of Jehoshaphat, king of Judah, a prophet is one with whom the word of God is; in modern lingo, a Prophet is God’s mouthpiece (II Kings 3: 12). The first person so described was our father Abraham (Gen. 20: 7).

Now get a grip: as God’s children, for example, we must all win souls to our Father’s kingdom; but that does not mean we all stand in the office of the Evangelist. Ditto for the Prophet. We must all hear from God and speak for Him. In fact Rom. 8: 14 says ‘For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God’. But that doesn’t qualify anybody as Prophet.

Let me put it this way: we can all (and in fact, should all) be prophetic but we can’t all Prophets be; and I hope that I am talking to you. So, a Prophet or Prophetess is someone anointed of the Holy Spirit to be God’s Mouthpiece e.g. Elijah and Huldah (II Kings 22: 14, II Chr. 34: 22).

Now the main thrust of the Prophetic ministry is teaching, while the main purpose is edification of the Body of Christ. The prophetic ministry is allergic to ignorance. It brings illumination, direction, help, progress, healing, grace, and joy to God’s people.

Now the prophetic word is God’s word spoken to a person, a people, place or thing through the mouth of an agent—a Prophet or prophetic representative. The problem here is that there are false Prophets and con Artists plus the fact that even Prophets are liable to errors but more on that later.

The Power of the Prophetic Word

In my booklet, Praying the Mind of God, I had stated that Solomon, not David, wrote Psalms 72 and that Solomon prophesied to himself by the Spirit of God saying:

‘And he shall live, and to him shall be given of the gold of Sheba: prayer also shall be made for him continually; and daily shall he be praised.’ (Ps 72: 15)

That prophetic word pushed the Queen of Sheba to deliver her nation’s gold to Solomon several years later. She had claimed Solomon’s famed wisdom but it was Solomon’s messianic prophecy that did it. Prophetic words are guided missiles that must hit the target except we sabotage them.

Now the next example is very awesome; in the book of second Kings, the host of Israel, Edom, and Judah were stranded in the desert of Edom in their quest to rout Moab. There was no water but thank God Elisha was available. This is the prophetic word he gave:

‘…You shall not see wind, neither shall you see rain; yet that valley shall be filled with water,… (II Kings 3: 16-19)

That came to pass to the letter! Without the ministry of the prophet these three nations would have suffered a fatal loss from thirst and dehydration.

How many children of God are stranded today on this planet suffering from lack of water! Again, how many have water everywhere but none to drink! Well, friend, a Teacher, an Evangelist, and a Pastor can attempt to do one another’s job; but no one can do a Prophet’s job.

I was a guest minister in Nottingham when I called a sister out and gave her a prophetic word, ‘I see a great help coming your way soon. I don’t know what it is, but the Lord himself will send you a big help.’

Few months later when I was back to her Church for another ministration, her husband testified that she took in, and then got three jobs—all of these have been elusive before; lastly she won a USA visa lottery!

Last July in the ‘Livingstone parish’ of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, Lagos, I gave a brother prophetic word that the Lord has healed him of brain tumour. After the ministration he showed me the result of several brain scans he’d done showing the tumour about the size of a table tennis ball! Few days later he called me that he has been truly healed!! Praise the Lord.

Examples and testimonies are numerous. I heard of an amazing couple; the wife is a healing Evangelist while the man a Prophet. The woman would start first then the man would take over by calling out everyone yet to receive his or her healing. One by one he would tell them what is withholding their healing and if they adjust accordingly would receive their healing instantly.

A child of God facing trials needs the prophetic ministry because there is a reason and solution to every problem. God in anticipation of our problems has anointed ministry gifts to solve them. Problems are one reason God anointed His chosen vessels.

Prophetic Ditches

Now there are problems associated with the Prophetic ministry chiefly due to ignorance both on the part of the Prophet himself and the Church at large. Well, the best way to identify fakery is to know intimately the genuine. Therefore, I want to mention two main ways to handle prophetic words.

1. Unlike in the Old Testament, every child of God has accessibility to the Holy Spirit; therefore, every prophetic word must be a confirmation of what God has been saying to you. In case it is not, then you are not meant to embrace it immediately until you comprehend it. God is never late or in a hurry and will not ask you to take a quantum jump. Actually, there is no alternative to ability to discern the Spirit of God. If we’re sensitive to the Holy Spirit and not overtaken by the hero-worship syndrome prevalent today, we wouldn’t have problem with the prophetic ministry.

2. Of paramount importance is the fact that the Bible itself enumerated how to make the prophetic ministry accountable. We’re commanded; note the word, to judge every prophecy. Nobody must prophesy that is not ready to subject his or her words to intense scrutiny! Everybody in the church must be taught this.

However, the fact is that no matter our knowledge-ability in scriptures, we will fail woefully in administering judgement to some prophetic words because it takes real sensitivity to the Holy Spirit to place some prophetic words. I will give one example. In a wedding ceremony in Africa, a Prophet during the church service said, ‘Bro. Joshua (not real name), take no other wife after this one’. Can you imagine that? The Prophet was ostracized by everyone and was labelled a ‘kill-joy’ and false Prophet.

However, few years later, that wife died due to laxity and insensitivity on the part of the husband. Well, the spirit of the Prophets are subject to the Prophets and perhaps the Prophet should have been wiser in the delivery of that prophecy, but everyone agreed later that he is indeed a man of God.

I believe sincerely that the Bible is comprehensive enough for guidance. Some Prophets make rules on which they don’t have Biblical authority. You see, we’re getting too sophisticated and devising. I will give two examples of this and what I think is wrong with them.

1. Some teach that Prophets who use ‘The Lord says’ are immature, fake, manipulative, domineering, etc. Instead they should say, ‘I believe the Lord is saying…’ or ‘it may be that God wants you to…’

We’re told that this gives the recipient opportunity to judge the prophecy. That sounds humble. But the danger here is that even a false Prophet will escape under this method because nothing is left for real judgement as it reduces prophecy to mere opinion. Certainly no example exists in scripture.

Conversely, the Bible is replete with Prophets who said, ‘And the word of the Lord came to me saying…’ or ‘Thus says the Lord…’ In the book of Acts we saw how brazen and daring Agabus was on Paul’s imminent suffering in Jerusalem. The prophetic word is not an opinion but God’s word to a particular situation. In the gospels, it is often said that Jesus perceived in His heart but the Lord was always authoritative.

What each Prophet must know is how the Lord deals with him, his level of faith, and the level of anointing on him in each meeting because we don’t always operate under our full measure of anointing and grace.

When I receive words under a somewhat lower anointing than usual, I make it a prayer point. I could be brutally frank with people. I’ll tell them, ‘the anointing on me now is low, the Lord is saying…but I may not be getting it right. I’ll just pray with you on it and lets watch it’. Again, Elijah said, As the LORD God of Israel lives, before whom I stand, there shall not be… (I Kings 17: 1). A Prophet, and in fact all of us must know where we stand. A young prophet yet to find his onion must not speak beyond his level; however, bold and authoritative word is one sign of prophetic office.

2. Secondly, it is taught that when prophetic words give direction, we must first check it out with the leadership before giving it in public. Well, this is wise but subject to which prophetic gifts are strong on us and how the Spirit operates through us. The Bible says there are diversity of operations and manifestations of each gift. Meanwhile, doctrines must be based on the Bible not personal experiences and God is too deep to be pigeonholed.

There are Prophets who don’t hear as such but see. Others receive on the spur of the moment while ministering and many times; it is better to release the message under the force of the anointing. I have ministered in churches where God used me to reveal the secrete sins of prominent members of the church—including sexual immorality right in the presence of their spouses, and to my surprise these created no problem at all but everyone was griped with holy fear due to the heavy presence of God. Many times immediately the word came, the recipient went down to the floor. I think it is enough to train the Church on how to judge prophecy. ‘Let the Prophets speak’ the Bible says. Thank God it didn’t stop there, ‘let the others judge’ it concluded.

I pity congregations whose Pastors don’t open up to the prophetic grace—and some Pastors hardly open their pulpit to other ministers! You see the Body of Christ is so designed by God that we need one another. No single man of God is allowed by God to have solutions to all your problems or else he becomes a god in your life. We must open up to other graces planted by God in Christendom. Shalom.